I've been laughing and smiling a lot lately. My husband and I have found ourselves laughing together more than we normally do too. I've been asking to watch funny movies and wanting to input "FUNNY" into my life. I can't help but relate this to the gift our baby has left us with. While I was pregnant I felt this deep desire to laugh and I felt like our baby was going to bring this sense of humor that would add so much laughter to our family. There was even moments during my pregnancy where I would stop and say to our baby "you are a comedian" because of funny things that would happen. It is SO hard to wrap my mind around death and loss in general. I try my hardest to pay close attention to each stage of the process and while I was pregnant that is what I did. I began to know our child in ways only a mom can know their child. Life begins in the womb and I believe purpose begins with that too. I've chosen to look at the loss of our baby in a light that would seem so hard to find. But I've taken this laughter as a gift. A gift that I am choosing to embrace and getting to know. I am naturally NOT a sarcastic or witty person. In fact I am always in awe of people who are and think it's quite attractive actually. So, here I am patting myself on the back and remembering how I am thankful for this gift that our baby has given to us. We may not hold our babies in our arms or raise them like we desire too, but everyday we get to know our babies more and more in a new kind of way. This puts me in awe and my prayer is that all woman who go through a loss of a child can experience a glimpse of their child on earth. Everyday we encounter beauty, some days we just have to look harder than others. When beauty appears the gift is there for us to embrace. So embrace it.
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